Summary

Our last night at parenting class was about getting in those last questions and sharing how some of the tips we have learnt have worked for us. So only a couple things that I wrote down.
* When you have three kids playing together but one feels left out and says "they're mean they won't play with me" (I have SO heard that enough times around here!), then it's time to have a conversation about social skills and to say what love looks like in a group. Ask what can we do next time to help everyone feel included?
* An example was given of a boy who didn't like to get dried in the bathroom after his shower, but would walk the water all the way to the bedroom (I am assuming this is a wood-floor home), and it drove his Mother nuts. Lisa suggests that things sound different when it is allowed. Give a choice in a sunny light voice - you can either get dried in the bathroom or you can walk the water everywhere, but then you will need to clean it up.... oh I see you chose to clean up after yourself, well you will be needing this then (give them a towel/rag). And walk away. If they are stubborn and won't do it, keep the happy voice and say something like oh I see you're still getting to it, ok, well we're having dinner shortly, you're welcome to join us when you are finished. You can keep it happy at your end while still making them finish the consequence.
* Don't sound like you're up for a fight, watch the tone of your voice.
* One Mum asked about lying. How do you punish a lie? Lisa said lying is not always black and white, look at the motive for lying first. There are three reasons why anyone lies, 1) frightened of consequence 2) to get out of something 3) loyalty. The example the Mum had given was ultimately about an older sibling lying to protect their younger sister from punishment - it had been over a sandwich. Lisa suggested no punishment here as loyalty is a great thing to be encouraged in families. She doesn't condone the lying but says look at the situation realistically, was this really something to get upset about?? Keep talks about honesty for when they really matter. E.g having a sandwich v's stealing.
* Sometimes a conversation can be the punishment. It is enough.

Lisa's funders are Starfish Charitable Trust but the government is no longer giving community education grants out, so Starfish don't have very much money to give Lisa anymore. She's trying to find ways to get money coming in otherwise she can't continue to do these courses as much as she has. I hope she does 'cause she gives such great tools for becoming better parents, which grows better families, and better families create great communities. I wish her good luck!

Well school holidays have begun. We had Elisa here last night and Em went to hang out with Brooke at Mum's. These three play well together, there isn't the fighting you get when it's Em and Leah and another child. Or maybe it's just that Ammon is quite happy to watch TV and just have them nearby him. He did get a bit upset last night because I didn't let Elisa sleep in his bed with him. No real reason except he's a squasher, I didn't think she stood a chance of a good sleep they way he practically forces you out of bed. She slept in Em's bed instead. After I changed it of course! My Em is getting rather lazy again...................
We have no great plans for the holidays except for a jump jam practice and a wedding. I guess we'll hit lollipops playland and the pools at some stage. The girls want to go rock climbing and to the farm (weather dependant) so I guess we'll do that too. Nate's grandparents haven't seen Caleb yet and he's coming up 4 months old.
Oops -he's awake now. Gotta go.