Christmas

The day is done.

It started at 5.50am when Em woke first, and impatiently waited for us to have presents. Normally we'd just open them in our jammies but this year we would be skyping others, so thought first order of the day was to get dressed. (The kids did get to have their santa stockings before that and he was a big hit! LOVED their stuff from him).

Dannella called first so we opened gifts with them, then we called Nanny and Papa and opened the rest of our gifts. A little while later we called Regan too. JC, AJ and Yeti weren't around skype so that didn't happen. Merry Christmas to everyone though!

The kids are just stoked with their gifts. Ammon got a batman outfit from Rose and Jean and wore it ALL day. Leah got a hairdressing head from Nan and that went everywhere with us. Em got an ipod from Daddy and she sang and sang. Of course there were other presents and they loved them all. Thank you everyone. (Dannella - Leah got her other gift and danced for joy :-) )

Breakfast then we were off to Katikati. Leah did not travel well today, even I felt a little woozy, perhaps from tiredness who knows? We had lunch at Ross and Bronwyn's, rode motorbikes, played the $10 prezzie game and chat, chat, chatted. Then home for dessert and a swim at the Robinson's. Quentin's spare ribs... YUMMMM!!!!

It has been a great day, however I am now completely over travelling on Christmas day. From now on if you don't live within 15 mins drive from our house, we're not comin. But you can come to us. Nice aren't I? It's just too much and too crazy now and the kids really just want to stay and play with their new toys. Perhaps the family gatherings could happen on another day because we still love to see everyone. Let's see how next year goes. Mind you, it's the MacDonald's turn next year and with half of them living in Aussie by then it might just be at my place anyway huh??

Ok - time for bed. I have posted Christmas day pictures on Facebook.

Oh yeah... CONGRATULATIONS Kent and Renee. So excited for you guys! Pitter patter....

Photo update

Em in the choir at the school leavers carol service

Leah learning to ride her bike

Leah is beautiful

Ammon and his milo

Banana face

Leah's junior school picnic at the lake

Ammon and Leah are watching TV

Emmy's straight hair

Playing in the rain

Soaked!

I'm back

I need sleep.

Since I started Caleb on solids a week ago and then he got his 5 month immunizations he has been a bit of a nightmare. His sleeping has gone all topsy-turvy and I feel like the walking dead. Nathan too. Yup, having fun.

My mind is a bit blank right now, but just letting you know we are still alive and now on the countdown to school holidays. So glad Grace is moving in down the road, it'll give my kids someone to play with during the holidays (when we're not off camping).

Ok will write more... soon...

Sun, sun, sun!

I am LOVING the sunshine we've been having - so warm! Good thing too seeing as it has been the girls athletic's days at school this week. I didn't see it, but Leah said she won her relay race, and Em's class came third in theirs (Em ran). I did watch them in other events though.

Caleb just jumps and jumps and jumps in his jolly jumper. He's fun to watch. He's not so keen anymore on the walker or bouncer or the floor, I guess he likes to be up and to move like he wants to instead of being restricted in any way.

Ammon has had an earache lately. Have I been to the doc yet? No. Man you get slack as more kids come along. With the first one you take them to the doc at the first sign of anything and are about as paranoid as first time Mum's come, but by the second...third...definitely fourth... you end up waiting a week before even thinking of doing anything about it. Yeah not so paranoid now. Pamol seems to be enough right now.

Leah's new favourite thing is to eat spiders. "Ew" did you say? That's what we call ice cream and fizzy drink (aka ice cream soda). Although in this heat what else would you want?

Here's some recent pics:

Busy month

Hello hello!

We're gearing up for a busy month or two now. This Saturday Em has a party to go to, next Saturday is Primary Presentation practice then the real thing the next day, the Saturday after that is ward camp/jump jam weekend. I also have to get the Christmas shopping done BEFORE December 1st - well that's my goal anyway. The kids chose who they were going to buy for last night: Em for Leah, Leah for Ammon (who promptly announced he wanted a mickey mouse toy) and Ammon for Em. Caleb we're leaving out and Nate and I don't need anything. It's just more money anyway. We spend too much money on Christmas on our own family and the families we grew up in and honestly right now we really don't have it. I suggest next year all families only buy for themselves, or one family buys for one family not all families, anyone keen??

We're off camping from January 4-11th at Cooks Beach with the Aitchison's. I am really really really hoping it doesn't rain this time and that it's just fabulous beautiful sunshine all the time.

Emerson has chosen to have her baptism on January 15th (probably around 3pm) so please bookmark that in your calenders family.

I am not totally happy with my new computer. I've had the technician here twice already and we've only had it a week and a half. First time the screen was faulty, the second time there was a buzzing. I think the buzzing is still here, it comes and goes. I'm ready for a refund I think. Nate wants to go with an Apple instead. I'm not sure if it's due to the screen size or something else but the writing looks a bit blurry to me in parts and that's making my eyes go funny. Ah Dell, not a happy customer.

The kids: Caleb has his sleeping a little mucked up, I have had to wake him the last 3 days in the morning or else I don't get out the door on time. He still wakes to feed around 1-3am and is genuinely hungry. Ammon has been waking a bit at night too so I'm running on low. It's making my mind scrambled and I'm finding it a bit of a struggle to get my thoughts in order and to get things done. It's just tiredness, but when does a Mum get to rest when she is breastfeeding?? Yes my choice to have another child, and I have absolutely no regrets, in fact I'd do it again if Nate would let me (but that's a debate to go on for a while yet...), but a good Mum needs sleep too.

Caleb is good at rolling back to tummy now and likes to chew on his thumb, not suck it. Actually he likes to chew on anyone's thumb/finger/hand! He is in size 00-0 clothes and had his first taste of food the other day when Nanny let him suck on a piece of watermelon.

Ammon likes having playdates with his friends and even went to watch the burn-out competition in Morrinsville with his Daddy. Yes he had ear muffs. In fact I'd like to find him some little one's for his xmas stocking if anyway knows where I can look? He still doesn't like going to kindy but has a great time once he is there. He loves church.

Leah has discovered she does not like walking home from school. Had to do it yesterday and was not impressed. I figure though that they can walk if the sun is shining and we don't have anywhere to be. Lucky Leah will get picked up today though as Em has basketball practice after school and I don't want either of the girls to walk home alone. Leah is still our girly girl but loves to play with Ammon. They have a great time together, it's fun to watch.

Em got player of the day at her last game, she continues to improve in her basketball and is learning particularly about defense. She is a good little hassler and drives the opposing player nuts with getting in the way. I think she enjoys it because she even swaps with her teammates so she can play against the better taller players. Em is also in her class relay team at her athletics day next week. Will have to go watch that one.

Both the girls have singing and speaking parts in their primary presentation on the 14th. Hopefully Leah won't get stage fright. I'm not sure if the nursery is doing anything. 9am if you want to come.

Trying somethin' new

Thanks to Rachel and Sandra I'm trying something new after school this term.

I used to have the kids get straight into jobs and homework as soon as they got home, but now they come home, put their lunch box on the bench and their bag at the table, then have till 4pm to eat and play or do whatever they want to.

At 4pm they come to the table and do their homework, (which is only ever reading for Leah and a bit of maths for Em) then they do their jobs (dishwasher, pick up their clothes and tidy up the toys outside), then free time again till dinner.

At dinner time one will do the table for the week (set it, clear it, wipe it) while the other tidy's the lounge and pulls the bedroom curtains. I would have the lounge/kitchen one's done too in winter but it seems too early to do them at dinner time during daylight savings.

I only started this on Tuesday but so far so good. The jobs are getting done and the girls are getting to play. It feels like they have way more free time and are actually getting to enjoy their childhood. I'm liking it.

Em doesn't want to go to school. Probably only because her scrape on her neck is still healing and there are some boys who are making fun of her for it. Calling her scabby-neck. Daddy is not impressed and feeling very protective of his girl but what can you do? In one of my parenting classes Lisa said to arm our kids with one-liners. We can't be there with them all through their schooling, and kids will be kids and say hurtful things, so I think this is the best answer for us. It is healing quickly and should be cleared up next week, in the meantime I am encouraging her to come up with something she could say back (not nasty) and laugh it off. She was happy enough to try and do that today, so that is good.

I won't have a computer for a few weeks I think (updating on Mum's today) as we have ordered through Dell and they said 2-3 weeks for delivery. It's a good thing. I spend a lot of time on the computer so it's a good break. I have Nathan's iphone though so can check email and facebook. We have decided to get an all-in-one so no hard drive on the floor and less cords. I didn't realize our computer was 7 years old already, so maybe not surprising it has decided to play up. Thank you to Regan for helping me with all that. I have been able to access all my files by taking the drive out and putting it in an external case. Thanks too to Dad for helping with that.

Congratulations to Shannon and Andre on expecting a GIRL!! Yay. We have so many clothes for you. Mum could bring over a big suitcase just of baby clothes there is that many! Good luck with choosing a name - that was always the hardest part for me.

Emmy was chosen to represent Vardon at the Barnados Big Toddle today along with about a dozen others from her school. They did jump jam to show the toddlers that fitness can be fun. I transported some of the kids and took my boys too. Ammon enjoyed it and got to have a sit in the fire truck, tricycle race, do a obstacle course, play in bubbles, jump on a bouncy castle, practice what to do in a 'burning' house, look in a police car and throw gumboots. It was fun and he got treats and a certificate at the end. He was most stoked with the balloons he got I think. He loves balloons. Caleb slept the entire time.

I have felt a need lately to improve my spirituality, so have begun to do the Young Women's Personal Progress. The first one I did was Divine Nature - read 4 scriptures and list the qualities spoken of that a daughter of God should possess. I listed 34. You're supposed to work on them then, so I've chosen four - knowledge, prayer, virtue and confidence. The first two are for me, I chose the other two for my girls. I want to figure out a way to model virtue and (keeping) confidence so that they will learn it. I've also decided to pick one of the qualities I listed and teach it in family home evening each week. That's 34 weeks sorted. Of course other things will be taught amongst that like last week we covered baptism because we had been to their cousin Cody's baptism, but at least I have a direction. A lady on TV the other day said what you want your kids to know or do in 5 years time, teach them now. In 5 years time Emmy will be hitting high school and boys and puberty. I need her self-esteem strong and her self-worth in place before she gets to all that!

There is no time limit to the Personal Progress but I'm aiming to start one requirement per week. I'm on track (after two weeks :-) ).

What else is going on? Caleb isn't so hungry lately, Nate has a persistent cold, Ammon still thinks he's the boss, Em hates being the oldest and Leah still has the oddest questions. But we're all good.

Ew!

Nits. I hate them.
I cannot believe how many times the girls have had them since they started school. They never had them at kindy/daycare but I've lost count for this year alone. Found one in Emmy's hair the other day (so JC you might want to check your girls!) and it takes ages to do their long hair. I so wish we had one of those nit salons like in the States. I might become a frequent customer, buy 10 get one free.
I dread the day Ammon gets them. He hardly even lets us brush his hair, there is no way he'd sit through a de-nit. Nate reckons we'll just shave it all off. So if you see Ammon with no hair one day, you'll know why.

Oh well at least it's given us one more thing to do during these school holidays. Nate took the girls rock climbing tonight, Mum took Leah and Ammon to the lake today. Em has a playdate tomorrow, we're going swimming in the evening, Friday is a wedding and baptism and Saturday we're off to the farm finally. Today Em had a jump jam practice then went to play next door afterwards. Came home crying with a scrape on her neck and a bump the size of a size 6 egg on her forehead, she'd tripped and hit her head on the deck. Not a happy camper. So she has a big bump still which will surely take a few days to go away. Didn't keep her home from rock climbing though!
I am loving the weather we're having, and am happy it's going to be like this all week. It's really cheering me up.

Summary

Our last night at parenting class was about getting in those last questions and sharing how some of the tips we have learnt have worked for us. So only a couple things that I wrote down.
* When you have three kids playing together but one feels left out and says "they're mean they won't play with me" (I have SO heard that enough times around here!), then it's time to have a conversation about social skills and to say what love looks like in a group. Ask what can we do next time to help everyone feel included?
* An example was given of a boy who didn't like to get dried in the bathroom after his shower, but would walk the water all the way to the bedroom (I am assuming this is a wood-floor home), and it drove his Mother nuts. Lisa suggests that things sound different when it is allowed. Give a choice in a sunny light voice - you can either get dried in the bathroom or you can walk the water everywhere, but then you will need to clean it up.... oh I see you chose to clean up after yourself, well you will be needing this then (give them a towel/rag). And walk away. If they are stubborn and won't do it, keep the happy voice and say something like oh I see you're still getting to it, ok, well we're having dinner shortly, you're welcome to join us when you are finished. You can keep it happy at your end while still making them finish the consequence.
* Don't sound like you're up for a fight, watch the tone of your voice.
* One Mum asked about lying. How do you punish a lie? Lisa said lying is not always black and white, look at the motive for lying first. There are three reasons why anyone lies, 1) frightened of consequence 2) to get out of something 3) loyalty. The example the Mum had given was ultimately about an older sibling lying to protect their younger sister from punishment - it had been over a sandwich. Lisa suggested no punishment here as loyalty is a great thing to be encouraged in families. She doesn't condone the lying but says look at the situation realistically, was this really something to get upset about?? Keep talks about honesty for when they really matter. E.g having a sandwich v's stealing.
* Sometimes a conversation can be the punishment. It is enough.

Lisa's funders are Starfish Charitable Trust but the government is no longer giving community education grants out, so Starfish don't have very much money to give Lisa anymore. She's trying to find ways to get money coming in otherwise she can't continue to do these courses as much as she has. I hope she does 'cause she gives such great tools for becoming better parents, which grows better families, and better families create great communities. I wish her good luck!

Well school holidays have begun. We had Elisa here last night and Em went to hang out with Brooke at Mum's. These three play well together, there isn't the fighting you get when it's Em and Leah and another child. Or maybe it's just that Ammon is quite happy to watch TV and just have them nearby him. He did get a bit upset last night because I didn't let Elisa sleep in his bed with him. No real reason except he's a squasher, I didn't think she stood a chance of a good sleep they way he practically forces you out of bed. She slept in Em's bed instead. After I changed it of course! My Em is getting rather lazy again...................
We have no great plans for the holidays except for a jump jam practice and a wedding. I guess we'll hit lollipops playland and the pools at some stage. The girls want to go rock climbing and to the farm (weather dependant) so I guess we'll do that too. Nate's grandparents haven't seen Caleb yet and he's coming up 4 months old.
Oops -he's awake now. Gotta go.

He's rollin'

Caleb rolled over today. Aren't the small things exciting? The easier way is from your front to your back as you lift up and gravity topples you over. Not him - he rocks and rolls from his back to his front. I didn't actually see it, but I had put him down on his back on the floor next to me and was on the computer when I heard a donk. He had hit a plastic box when he'd rolled over. Oh the excitement! What a Mum.

Final parenting update coming soon.

Be Present

Another wonderful class tonight. The main part was about listening, but I'll write as my notes went.
* When growling your children, you will need to speak differently to boys than to girls. Boys need it short and sweet (minimal words) and their consequences louder and clearer.
* Divide your time not your attention.
* When the same thing keeps happening over and over again: How can I do it differently to get a different response?
* If there is no time before school for consequences, then tell them the consequences will have to happen after school.
* The end of the school term (especially in winter months) brings tired kids. Be mindful of this when they are more grizzly or contentious than normal.
* Take the power from you and give it to the clock. When you are needing to go, show your child that when the big hand is on the 6 we have to leave. Younger kids don't understand "a few minutes", Christmas is soon, 5 minutes is soon. Use a clock with hands to help them understand time.
* If it's time for dinner but your child is in a very creative space (e.g. doing art), instead of saying "come now", take a moment to look at what they are doing and perhaps give them a bit more time to finish. Creativity is something to be encouraged.
* A woman talks to solve the issue herself (saying it often solves it without any input from someone else). A man thinks if she's talking to me she wants a solution. So gives one.
* Practice being the parent that can say to their child "I am completely unshockable by anything you tell me". By practice will also come non-judgement. There is no quicker way to shut a teenager down than to judge them when they tell you something. LISTEN with patience and calmness. Reacting - especially negatively - will close the communication door.
* Kids know how to be "present" in the moment. Watch them follow a ladybug for ages.... Sometimes because they are so in the moment, they will not hear you. (And here I was thinking Leah was just deaf! Instead I learn that she probably IS just really being present).
* You like to unload at bedtime to your darling, kids like to unload too. Take the time to put them to bed, perhaps with a story, turn the lights out (leave the hallway one on) and lie with them and listen to them. You will hear things you didn't know.
Most parents want their own time in the evenings and just want the kids to go to bed, but you can have both, just make their bedtime 15 mins earlier and factor listening time into the bedtime routine. Kids will often sleep better when they have unloaded.
* Listening = 100% listening, not thinking of your own response, being non-judgemental, not interrupting, being present in the moment.
* Give your child a moment in each day when you are present with them. Stop. Listen. Pay attention. Especially to the big things in their lives. You will learn what is a big thing, and when to pay all your attention, or just some of it. Kids don't mind if you don't stop your world for them on the little things, but love it when you tune in to their big things.

Lisa has a book with all her notes for the course in it. She is presently updating it and I am going to buy one when she is done. At first I thought it would be good for the kids to read when they embark on being parents themselves, but hopefully this will be a change in the way I parent that will become the norm for them and become all they know anyway. We parent like we were parented. Hopefully they won't need the book. But I'll buy it anyway.